Palahniuk and Powell’s
“Give me your hand.” Fingers aflutter I complied reaching out to grasp Chuck Palahniuk’s hand as I perched on his knee, our other arms entwined around one another. I forgot all about my camera in the capable hands of the awesome 
I only recently learned of the existence of heaven on earth, also known as Powell’s Books. How had I never known about this place? It is the largest bookstore in the world, comprising a full city block, three-stories tall. I toured it on-line, drooling, foaming at the mouth the whole time and immediately decided to take a road trip, a pilgrimage. I then clicked on the “events” link and there it was – a book signing in two weeks by Chuck Palahniuk. Clearly kismet. I had just written about him here, just finished his most recent book, Beautiful You. I opened the garage, got in my car and waited for two weeks to go by.
It was a 15-hour trip one way. I broke it up into two days for travel each way and they were long two days. But it was a gorgeous exciting drive. The journey on the way up filled with excitement, anticipation, hope. On the way back, I was full, satiated in a way I haven’t been for some time. My car was stuffed with books and my heart was equally full and happy and I’ve carried a glow around me since I’ve been back.
It’s such a risk, meeting your heroes. Often they turn out to be either absolute assholes, or disappointing in myriad ways. Not so Chuck Palahniuk. Powell’s, which was even more awesome than I had fantasized, had the event exceedingly well organized. I was anxious about what to expect. Did I need to camp out the night before? Would I be waiting in line all day? Whatever it was I was prepared to do. I got there when the doors opened at 9:00 a.m. and was able to go right up to the counter and receive my “A” line ticket. I would be in the first of four groups. Easy and awesome. They said he would sign two books. I could take pictures of him, but he wouldn’t be posing for pictures. The very first person in line he posed with. He played with each person personally, lifting one girl off her feet for a shot, honking one man’s breast for a candid, playing out the iconic Charlie’s Angels pose, snuggling up behind others for cozy shots, and for me – down on one knee with his arm around me, holding my hand, looking into my eyes as I swooned.
It was the most fun I have had in a while. I giggled and jumped up and down in line with the young man behind me, both of us giddy as we inched closer and closer. He had tattoos on his arms of different scenes from Palahniuk books. He was lovely. “You’re next, you’re up next!” he whispered in sudden quiet and awe. And there I was, all cognitive capacity and articulation ability leeched out in a puddle back in line as I finally stood in front of him – Chuck Palahniuk. The author of Fight Club. So many works, so much – Survivor, Invisible Monsters, Choke, Lullaby, Fugitives and Refugees, Diary (I just finished this one and I think it may actually be my favorite. I literally exclaimed aloud at the ending. How often does that happen?!), Stranger Than Fiction, Haunted, Rant, Snuff, Pygmy, Tell-All, Damned, Doomed. And his most recent, launching this book signing, Beautiful You.
I chose Beautiful You and Damned to be inscribed. I wish I had chosen Diary instead. Next time?
I kept saying “thank you.” He thought I meant for the signing, for the pictures. But what I meant, what I wanted to say was so much more. I wanted to say thank you for the books. Thank you for writing them, for having the amazing courage to release them out into the world. Thank you for taking what’s deep and often dark and personal and pure, what’s hidden away and brutally true, and putting it on the page. Thank you for the uncompromising work, the heart and soul and remarkable mind birthing it all. For being in this world. In my world, our world. For how very much we need you in this world.
Just - thank you.
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